Don’t smother your child’s dreams in your own expectations

Actor R Madhavan is currently the most excited father in the universe. His 16-year old son Vedaant has won a gold medal at the Danish Open 2022 in Copenhagen. Subhash K Jha catches up with papa Madhavan in Austria.Madhavan, congratulations. Vedaant has done it!Thanks, You should be the happiest. You have held him in your arms as a baby.Yes, and look at him today. The next swimming champ of India.Aapke mooh mein ghee-shakkar. But let’s not undermine the achievements of other young swimmers. There is another swimmer a boy Vikram Gowda who is also doing our country proud. There are others. But their father is not a film actor. So they don’t get that much attention.That’s very generous of you. But Vedaant is special?I am very proud of my son. I can’t tell you how excited I am by his latest win. I can’t wait to hug him. Sadly he is in Copenhagen while I am in Austria at a restorative retreat. I’m trying to get into shape so I can stand next to him. Otherwise it is 6-packs and 8-packs for him, and pack-up for me(laughs).But seriously, hats off to you and your wife Sarita for letting Vedaant follow his dreams?Yeah, man. We were always very clear on that. He could do whatever he wants to do with his life. I remember when I had told my father that I wanted to be an actor he had thrown a fit. ‘You want to be a what????!!! You are a qualified engineer. Why aren’t you joining a hi-tech firm? What is this nonsense?!’ Etc etc. You know how it is. Yes, I know. Do you and your father laugh about this?Yes, I keep reminding him playfully of his disappointment for his son not becoming an engineer. I hope he is not disappointed in me anymore, ha ha. Now my parents, my wife and I look at Vedaant and we feel so proud. It’s not just about his swimming achievements, Vedaant is such a good boy. He has a monk-like attitude to everything in life.All credit must go to your wife Sarita for Vedaant’s upbringing?Oh, absolutely. Her sacrifices have no limits. Ever since Vedaant began swimming seriously, she has been the best Swim Mom in the world. She gets up at 4 am to prepare his beverage and meal before swimming. She is with him every waking minute. She has set aside her own life to look after him.Any disappointment that Vedaant didn’t follow you into acting?None at all. Not for a second. Sarita and I are happy with whatever he is doing. If instead of swimming Vedaant had come to us to tell us he wants to be cello players, we’d have happily supported him in that. My advice to parents is, follow your children’s dreams. Don’t look for your own dreams in your children. Mera naam karega roshan is all very fine. But don’t smother your child in your expectations.Subhash K Jha is a Patna-based film critic who has been writing about Bollywood for long enough to know the industry inside out. He tweets at @SubhashK_Jha.Read all the Latest News, Trending News, Cricket News, Bollywood News,India News and Entertainment News here. Follow us on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.