Ariana Grande poses for Vogue US, opens up about Mac Miller's death, recording Thank U, Next

Ariana Grande has reflected upon the death of her ex-boyfriend Mac Miller and her short-lived engagement to comedian Pete Davidson in a new interview.In a wide-ranging profile piece by Vogue, the 26-year-old musician said headlining the 2019 Coachella music festival reminded her of Miller, who passed away from an accidental overdose in September last year."I never thought I'd even go to Coachella. I was always a person who never went to festivals and never went out and had fun like that. But the first time I went was to see Malcolm perform, and it was such an incredible experience."I went the second year as well, and I associate... heavily... It was just kind of a mindf**k, processing how much has happened in such a brief period," Grande said.In 2018, the singer had blasted a Twitter user for "shaming and blaming" her for her breakup with Miller.Looking back at her response, she said, "People don't see any of the real stuff that happens, so they are loud about what they think happened. They didn't see the years of work and fighting and trying, or the love and exhaustion."That tweet came from a place of complete defeat, and you have no idea how many times I warned him that that would happen and fought that fight, for how many years of our friendship, of our relationship. You have no idea so you're not allowed to pull that card, because you don't f**king know. That's where that came from," she added.The singer said she spent years worrying about Miller, who was battling substance abuse and alcoholism."It's pretty all-consuming. By no means was what we had perfect, but, like, f**k. He was the best person ever, and he didn't deserve the demons he had. I was the glue for such a long time, and I found myself becoming... less and less sticky. The pieces just started to float away," Grande said.She also talked about her relationship with Davidson, with whom she got engaged in May 2018 and later separated in October same year."My friends were like, Come! We're gonna have a fun summer.' And then I met Pete, and it was an amazing distraction. It was frivolous and fun and insane and highly unrealistic, and I loved him, and I didn't know him."I'm like an infant when it comes to real life and this old soul, been-around-the-block-a-million-times artist. I still don't trust myself with the life stuff," Grande said.Grande also opened up about recording Thank u, next album, revealing that she has no memory of that time because she "so drunk and so sad." She said that she does not remember when they started recording the album and when they finished."I think that this is the first album and also the first year of my life where I’m realizing that I can no longer put off spending time with myself, just as me. I’ve been boo’d up my entire adult life. I’ve always had someone to say goodnight to. So Thank U, Next was this moment of self-realization. It was this scary moment of ‘Wow, you have to face all this stuff now. No more distractions. You have to heal all this shit,'" she added.(With inputs from Press Trust of India)