Yawn of an election: Where’s all that mud-slinging?

What's an election without mud-slinging and character assassination? A yawn of an affair.We know the joke always is finally on the voter but why deprive him of the little entertainment he gets for free during campaigning by candidates?For all the hype around the upcoming round of assembly elections, it has been a tepid affair so far. At least from the entertainment perspective. Rahul Gandhi’s Haathi jokes — if at all they were meant to be so — have not been interesting enough, and Mayawati's Yuvraj jibes have been incredibly dull. Neither has the flair for humour, like, say, Lalu Prasad Yadav. Others are suspiciously silent, not even letting the casual loose remark slip. It seems all politicians have decided to look respectable and all gravitas at the same time.[caption id="attachment_187959" align="alignleft" width="380" caption="Jeeta and Jaggi Screen grab from YouTube"][/caption]That's bad. That the Indian politician was a humourless creature was known; now, he has lost his nasty trait, too.Satirist Jaspal Bhatti is missing something in the elections already. In a petition to the Election Commission of India (EC), he has suggested to the EC that it should not take notice if rival candidates get down to hurling muck at each other. "The move will help the voters make up their mind in choosing the candidate who is less corrupt. Moreover, when candidates dig up each others’ scandals, it provides entertainment to the public and they get involved in the democratic process with greater interest. It gives colour to the otherwise dry elections..."Now that Uma Bharti is settling down to be the BJP's face in UP, things are expected to heat up a bit. The sanyasin is known to be sharp with her tongue; many in the BJP, including senior leader LK Advani, would vouch for that. She had started on the right note. On Thursday, she resurrected Sonia Gandhi's foreign origin. The issue is as good as dead now but if it leads to some fun, it is welcome."I just want to tell Rahul that his mother is from Italy and accepted in India. I am an Indian and I can be anywhere. He should comment on his mother, not on his bua (father's sister). He should not stoop to a low level," she told reporters.Earlier, Rahul had questioned her contribution to Bundelkhand, the area where her assembly constituency lies. For the right impact, Uma reminded Rahul that he had demolished his political guru, Digvijaya Singh, in Madhya Pradesh.A promising start one must say.Politicians have sobered down a lot. Blame it partly on the censor board called the Election Commission. The poll Nanny won't tolerate sexist, racist, communal or casteist attacks on rivals, neither would it be indifferent to foul language.How can politicians talk without all that? The only word they can use for each other are very neutral and ineffective,  such as chor, nikama and nalayak. These no more interest the potential voter, who is already in a state of fatigue after being ferried in rundown trucks to the rally grounds by party organisers in exchange for some cheap liquor, food and a few currency notes.Poll promises are alright but what he wants more is entertainment. In Punjab, the poll scene is brighter. It has cartoon characters Jeeta and Jaggi vs Jhoota and Thaggi. It was started off by the Congress, which used characters Jeeta and Jaggi to attack the Siromoni Akali Dal. The latter has responded with it own self-explanatory characters Jhoota (liar) and Thaggi (mug) to take on the Congress.In the land of Jaspal Bhatti, it does not surprise. Punjabis are known to be good at humour; it’s heartening that they putting it into good use for the elections. Hope other state discover some reason to laugh.There’s nothing as tiresome as a lifeless election. Politicians, smile please and bring out your inner beast.